When the going gets tough….

Its not the end of the year quite yet….but I have a moment to my thoughts right now…
Just sitting here with my nut head dogs… who managed today to squeeze a foam dog bed through the metal panel bars on their pen while i was out…wtf and why? Can I increase their prozac? OMG.
…. and catching up on FB as I do quite regularly…nah…yeah you know it….
.. and I saw this post on my mate Jono’s page, and i clicked play… well crikey if I didn’t start to cry… fair dinkum swell of emotion and outpouring of tears… and then reflection of why.. as you do…
… what an amazingly incredible year.
Bear went back to YWAM and commenced her leadership training and the 20mths of living in…. co-leading a team of students to Calcutta, India, for 7 weeks… at 18 and the youngest of the group. Seeing her ever increasing happy face after years of darkness, she is a constant source of inspiration and maturity beyond her years. I wonder where she will go next June-Aug on her next overseas outreach…given it was Russia and China when she was 17! Her love for helping others and seeing goodness where others see failing, poverty and dark, I am so proud to be in her life. I fall in love with her again and again every morning I wake up.
Hannie completed her acting course, and I had a daughter old enough to have finished uni! WOW I am an old person. Seeing her on stage in her element, I cry just thinking about it! You can imagine my mascara disaster when I am in the audience. Watching her in the 2 festivals she has been a part of this year since she graduated, I know she is destined for great things. Spending more time with her on a more regular basis now I am not full time nursing… its a creative hub in our little digs. Her writing new plays, working on ideas, talking through all that goes with that… its really really cool. I fall in love with her again and again every morning I wake up.
My sister Katrina has finally received the recognition she deserves and worked so hard for all these years, as a primary school teacher. She IS the epitome of what a teacher is and should aspire to, of that I have no doubt. She is the kindest and sweetest person you will meet…she is the nice sister. She works really hard at work, and at home, and being the glue that holds her household together, with 2 teen/pre-teen daughters and all that entails, and an army officer hubby Piers, and all that entails!!! I just wish we could live nearer one another, as she is my best friend.
My brother Brad who continues in tough job, not only as a police officer, but one in charge of the station, and in a remote locality as he does. But he is more than that… from all accounts and from the accolades he receives professionally and personally, he and his amazingly tireless, energetic and gorgeous bride Heidi have bridged a gap in a community with all their extra curricular support for sporting teams etc. With 2 young children with an array of interests as well, I often wonder when they sleep.
My youngest brother Fats, Matt, has been following his passion within a corporate career and this has finally paid off as he has just become the first national indigenous careers manager for a major bank. His beautiful bride Tanya continues to grow from strength to strength in her role in the bank (opposition banks lol)… and is awarded accordingly too, so cool. With their little dude in tow, they are a super trio.
My parents Owen and Lorraine are happily travelling around in the retirement… just separately!!!!! Mum travels between kids/grand kids, and Pa just loves his yearly sojourn to Cloncurry and helping out with lots and lots of jobs up there! Was really great that I was able to do trips with each of them this year – a month on the road with Ma touring NSW and visiting as much of the mob as we could… from Woolongong, to Canberra, to Mt Kosi to see snow… to sydney, to Bathurst, orange, parkes, Dubbo, Bourke and Goodooga…and then a couple of weeks out in Goodooga with Pa testing out my new caravan. I couldn’t be who I am, disregarding the obvious, without my parents and their support.
To my family and friends, who have gone through so much grief this year, with loved ones passing, struggling with illness and still smiling, I salute you. I cry with your sad times, and I cheer in your triumphs.
And me, well nothing much has happened. EEHEHEHHEHEHEH…. from a full time nursing career, juggling an emerging art career, and many years as the sole carer of my kids (Yep there was help, but at the end of the day, it was me)….. I crashed physically. I guess at some point you have no choice but to listen to your body. I may not “exhibit” stress (apart from what these crazy dogs do to me)…but I have to acknowledge it does manifest somehow in your body…. and being tested for MS because of my symptoms, and a scare with some sort of benign spinal tumour (apparently its nothing so I am happy about that)…. but never getting a formal diagnosis….selling my house, quitting my full time job… just all seemed to make sense. I am not going to lie… I am scared financially… starving artist is not just a cliche lol…. well I could do with some starving and I could live for a while on my bakery (more than a muffin top here)… but yeah, I can honestly say I am scared, and there are days, when physically, and emotionally, I can barely get out of bed. But I do because I need to pee.
I am no different to any of you, lovely friends. I have met so many more new people this year, who have inspired me to keep going. I have so much love from my old friends and my family, who even if you don’t realise it, make me smile every day. I know so many who struggle, so many who have sad and tragic stories, so many who lose loved ones far before their time. Those stories give me the nudge to get out of bed on the days I struggle, because I should.. because I can.
To my old and my new friends, to my family and all the extended mob, I truly wish you a merry Christmas, in whatever shape or form your celebrations take place…. I wish you health and happiness for 2016, and I wish to remain a part of your lives, even if its just as a Facebook stalker.
Enjoy the clip, thanks Jono… because when the going gets tough, the tough get going. ( I used to think it said “you can go and get stuffed”).

Billy Ocean – When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going (Version 2)
Billy Ocean’s official music video for ‘When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going (Version 2)’.…